


come through with that magic.

by Sagamohr



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, M/M, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25917832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagamohr/pseuds/Sagamohr
Summary: Buck does a reckless thing on a call and goes home alone.It's up to Eddie to remind him why he can't act without thinking anymore.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 179





	come through with that magic.

Evan Buckley sat at the end of the bed, one hand resting on the back of his neck, the other between his knees.

Eddie hadn’t come back from their last shift yet.

Maybe he hadn’t said what he should have said. Maybe he should have pretended not to have heard the victim praising him for the quick response, and boasted. It had been quick, but extremely dangerous, putting not just himself but the rest of the team in danger for just a couple of minutes of glory.

He was still trying his best, curbing most if not all of his most reckless thoughts, but sometimes in the heat of the moment, it happened. When all was said and done, Eddie had pulled him aside and scolded him, and Buck had reacted without thinking, shoving him to the side with a snarl of his own. Emotions had been high, as was their adrenaline, and maybe that was their problem. Maybe they were both just too caught up in one another to think about the things their mouths had let out. Buck had said some stuff, Eddie had said some stuff, and Chim came between them, calling Buck off while Hen ushered Eddie back to the ambulance.

At the end of the shift, Bobby had called Eddie into his office. Not wanting another scolding from Bobby of all people, Buck took off, not bothering to wait for his boyfriend to come with him. Eddie had taken his truck that morning anyway, so it wasn’t like he wouldn’t have a way home.

It had only taken him the thirty-minute drive home to feel ridiculous about the way he had treated his boyfriend. Buck sat in his car and stared at the tiny crack in his windshield for ten more minutes, chewing over the afternoon’s call. By the time Buck had gotten home and gotten himself into the shower, he felt bad. Angry at himself for the way he had spoken, frustrated that Eddie had thought he wasn’t prepared enough to make the immediate call he had made. But even then, that had been the right call… right?

A hot shower always cleared his head. So that was what he had done. Climbed into the shower, turning the knob higher than normal, and stood under the stream as it pounded into the back of his neck and his shoulders. He left the shower feeling just as shitty as he had entered it, and for the first time in a very long time, Buck thought about spending the night at Maddie’s. 

After he had showered, Buck checked the time. It was nearly six at night. Their shift had ended almost two and a half hours ago. Why hadn’t Eddie showed up yet? Where was he? Was he still talking with Bobby? Was he somewhere else? Was he with someone else? Christopher was spending the night with a classmate, so why hadn’t Eddie come home yet?

Moving from the end of the bed, Buck changed into some comfortable pants and decided to leave his shirt in the dresser, because what was the point if he was sleeping alone? His mind was reeling with what he thought he should do. Should he text? Call? Call Bobby? The firehouse? Call a bar? Maybe check in with Hen and Karen? Maddie? Buck ran his hand down his face as he left the bedroom and headed for the kitchen, deciding to make a pot of tea before he moved to the living room.

He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t quite know how to explain to Eddie that he was certain he had done the right thing. He didn’t know how to tell Eddie that he was fine now. He wasn’t hurt, or in danger, and what he had done would have only affected the victim anyways. How was he supposed to say any of that without sparking another fight?

Buck leaned back against the couch and covered his face with both his hands. What the hell was he supposed to do? “Christ.” Buck mumbled into his hands, shaking his head slightly.

“No, not Christ,” Eddie answered softly from his spot against the wall.

Buck nearly jumped a foot in the air. He hadn’t heard the door open, nor had he heard Eddie walk in the apartment. How the hell did a man his sturdy size walk so quietly and so softly? This wasn’t uncommon, with Eddie sneaking up on Buck like a hobby whenever they were home, or even in the goddamn firehouse. 

He turned towards Eddie, moving to stand. “Ed…”

Immediately the man held his hand up, shaking his head just slightly. “Hey, no, relax.” Eddie soothed, pushing off from the wall to join the younger man on the couch. “I’m sorry.” He started, looking down at the floor. 

Buck blinked because he wasn’t sure he had heard him right. _He_ was sorry? “Eddie, I’m the one… you don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He tried.

The other fireman laughed softly, shaking his head as he looked up at the ceiling as if he was searching for the strength to answer him properly. He didn’t have to search long. “I snapped at you because I was terrified for you, Evan.” He lifted his gaze, meeting Buck’s. It was serious when he used Buck’s first name. “You ran into that foyer without your mask and tank, without your helmet, and that ceiling was collapsing.”

The emphasis on ‘collapsing’ made Buck think back to what he had actually done, and he almost winced. Even though he had heard the same message earlier, hearing it now in the apartment, just the two of them, made Buck’s chest hurt. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You put the victim at risk. You put yourself at risk. Buck… I can’t lose you.” Eddie said as if he hadn’t heard Buck. “Christopher lost his mother already… he can’t lose you too.”

Ah, shit. Christopher. The lump Buck had been fighting back in the base of his throat climbed up and threatened to choke him. Eddie placed his hand on his thigh and squeezed. “I was terrified for our family, Buck. I don’t think either of us could survive if…”

“I won’t do it again, Eddie.” Buck broke, eyes welling with tears. “I won’t. I can’t put you… I can’t put either of you through that.”

Eddie moved so instead of sitting side by side, he was facing Buck. He grabbed the younger man by his shoulders and yanked him into his chest, crushing him in against him tightly. “Shh… it’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t,” Buck mumbled against Eddie’s chest, his arms looped loosely around the man. “I would have ruined your family. I would have risked it all and for what?”

“Because you have a big heart, Buck,” Eddie said softly, kissing the top of his head. “You act before you think, and sometimes it doesn’t pay off, but when it does, you do something that no one will forget.”

Buck choked, pressing his face against Eddie’s chest as he tightened his arms around him. How was Eddie so good at this? How did Eddie know exactly what to say to make him see not only the things he had done but how his recklessness would affect others? Jesus, Chris would have been crushed. How could he have done that to the kid, after everything he had already been through?

Eddie’s hand was rubbing small circles into his back, soothing away the fresh wave of guilt and shame he felt about the thing he had done for the sake of the rescue. Buck wasn’t sure how long he had been there for, half lying on his boyfriend’s chest while the man rubbed his back. When his hips began to hurt and the burn of guilt didn’t scorch his insides as much, he pushed up and looked into Eddie’s face.

He looked exhausted. Eddie looked like he had not just pulled a double but had also been put on working on the truck, working on it and organizing the things needed to make sure they were more than prepared for each and every call. Buck reached up and touched the man’s face, his thumb rolling over his bottom lip. “I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m sorry I didn’t think and ran into a burning building.”

Eddie half chuckled. “You’re a fireman, you have do that sometimes.” He paused, fingers curled so he could rub alongside Buck’s spine. “But remember… you have more than just yourself now. Maddie, Chim, Bobby… me and Chris.”

“You and Chris.” Buck echoed, but he knew that what Eddie was saying was true. He no longer was just a lone rogue chasing tail and couch surfing. He had a job, co-workers that not only relied on him but trusted him and wanted him to be better, to do better. 

Then he had a family. Maddie, constantly keeping him on his toes. Christopher, who swore that Buck couldn’t leave until he had beaten him in a video game. Eddie, who looked at him like that with those eyes and that small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“I love you,” Buck said first, leaning up to kiss Eddie soundly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Eddie breathed back, eyes locked on his boyfriend’s. “C’mon. Let’s go to bed.”

It didn’t take much more for Buck to get up and pull Eddie into the room they shared, snapping the door closed as they fell onto the soft mattress together, laughing as they kissed and stripped out of their clothes. They had gotten through it, worked it out, falling asleep wrapped up in one another’s arms, safe from the intrusive and reckless thoughts of the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I haven't really mentioned this in a while, but I've created a Discord server for writers c: If you're interested please check it out here -> discord.gg/KmNY9vV


End file.
